Changes: Reading Challenge

Revision as of 18:19, 27 August 2016

"Reading is Fundamental" is an infamous mini challenge featured in Seasons 2-8, where the Queens read each other, or throw shade.

The purposes of the mini challenge is to make everybody laugh, and to determine the queen who will have an advantage in the main challenge.

RuPaul kicks off the mini challenge by saying "In the Great Tradition of Paris is Burning, Bring out your Library Cards!" a pun for "reading".

Season 2

Here are all the quotes and reads from each of the queens on Episode 7: Once Upon a Queen

Mini Challenge winner: Jujubee

Tyra Sanchez

To Tatianna: "Oh, wow. We have Eminem doing drag, mama."
To Jessica Wild: "Oh, wow. And standing next to her (Tatianna), is that Dumbo Flying in?"
To Jujubee: "Oh mama, is this Jujubee? Darling let me get to your level. Oh Ru, we have an undergrown orangutan!"
To Pandora Boxx: "Oh, and next to her (Jujubee), darling how old are you?"
To Raven: "And the one on the end, oh just look at her Ru, are you going swimming, or are you doing drag, mama, what is that?"

Tatianna

To Tyra Sanchez: "Smile for me." (Tyra smiles), "Don't smile."
To Jessica Wild: "Do you pick up satellite with those big ones?"

Tatianna gives up on the mini challenge because she didn't know how to read and she couldn't think of anything to read.

Jessica Wild

To Tyra Sanchez: "You think that is big? (Pointing to her own ears) You need to see another thing that I have for you, bitch. (Pointing to her crotch)"
To Tatianna: "You are SO FAT, girl."
To Jujubee: "What are you doing here, mama? Go back to China Town, girl"
To Pandora Boxx: You are a "gringa puerca (white pig)."
To Raven: "You, the top model? When I see your face, I said puñeta! (faggot)."

Jujubee

To Tyra Sanchez: "Miss Tyra, was your barbecue cancelled? Your grill is fucked up."
To Tatianna: "And, Miss Tatianna, Miss Honey. You think you're so soft. Not by the hairs of your chiny chin chin."
To Jessica Wild: "And let me tell you something, "puerca." you won't understand this anyways... (speaking Laotian): "You have a dog face, and your body is HUGE" Get my gist? Do ya understand?
To Pandora Boxx: "Pandora, can we talk about sun tanning?"
To Raven: "And you! Legendary, you think you are. Legendary? Looks like leg and dairy (rubbing her stomach)!"

Pandora Boxx

To Tyra Sanchez: "Tyra Sanchez, if you are America's Sweetheart, America needs a heart transplant."
To Tatianna: "Tatianna, all I hear when I put my ear up to yours is the ocean."
To Jessica Wild: "Jessica Wild. Those drag clothes looks like a donkey fucked a piñata and threw up."
To Jujubee: "Jujubee, with that gaping thing you call an asshole, I think I could go spelunking in there."
To Raven: "Raven, the Frosty Bitch. I think I see penguins circling that pole."

Raven

To Tyra Sanchez: "You got a grill that could put Black & Decker out of business."
To Tatianna: "Everyone thinks you're pretty. I do think you're pretty. I think you have a beautiful face... for radio."
To Jessica Wild: "You want to call me a top model, mami? Bend over and take it like a man. I'll be your top... model."
To Jujubee: "Honey, don't you know a thing about doing a manicure and a pedicure? Fix them hooves, honey."
To Pandora Boxx: "Pandora, by the looks of you, you're going through the change of life, honey."

Season 3

Here are all the quotes and reads from each of the queens on Episode 7: Ru Ha Ha

Mini Challenge Winner: Shangela

Yara Sofia

to Manila Luzon: "Manila Luzon. It's not because you're Asian. It's because I need some PATIENCE to deal with you."
to Delta Work: "Delta Work, is that your tits or your feet?"
to Raja: Raja, you think you're fashion? You should go to OLD... SCHOOL."

Manila Luzon

to Yara Sofia: "Oh, Yara. Your blue contacts are so creepy that it makes my skin itchy, itchy, itchy... pa'lante." (making fun of Yara's quote, echa pa'lante)
to Delta Work: "It's Dinner time, Delta. And you are serving Body-ody-ody. Well, I guess that solves the problem with all them starving kids in Africa."
to Raja: "Girl, dont go to an antique shop, they just might keep you there."

Delta Work

to Yara Sofia: "Yara, isn't it interesting that when your flight came into town the sightings of chupacabras increased?"
to Manila Luzon: "Manila, what are we gonna do when a hurricane hits all of Asia. You won't have any material left."
to Raja: "Raja, when you're on the runway, do you keep the 800 number for suicide? Because those toes are ready to jump."

Alexis Mateo

to Shangela: "Miss Shangela, girl, can we have some water? Her hair is thirsty, baby."
to Delta Work: "Delta, just grow a neck, honey."
to Raja: "Raja, should I call you Raja or Grandma?"

Raja

to Shangela: "Shangela, I hope you still have your phone card to middle earth, 'cause the hobbits are calling!"
to Delta Work: (points to Delta) "FAT."
to Alexis Mateo: (points to Alexis) "WHO CARES?"
to Carmen Carrera: (points to Carmen) "SYPHILIS."

Carmen Carrera

to Yara Sofia: "Yara, WHAT THE FUCK are you saying, girl?"
to Alexis Mateo: "Alexis, girl, I been thinking about you all day. I was at the zoo"

Shangela

to Delta Work: (Looks at Delta) and says: "Mimi Imfurst."
to Raja: "Raja, I know you call yourself top model, but I think Tyra Banks and I would agree you're just fashion roadkill."
to Manila Luzon: "Manila Luzon, Asian role model. Well, I hope you were referring to the rolls all over your body."
to Carmen Carrera: "And, aw, Carmen Carrera. Honey, just go jump in the ocean. You won't drown. Silicone floats."

Season 4

Here are all the quotes and reads from each of the queens on Episode 7: Dragazines

Mini Challenge winner: Latrice Royale

Dida Ritz

to Sharon Needles: "Does someone smell that? Oh that's just Sharon Needles!"
to Jiggly Caliente: "Jiggly Caliente, you should feel honored! You're the first contestant in Drag Race history with child!"
to Latrice Royale: "Latrice Royale, you're free now you don't have to rock the yard sandals anymore!" (Latrice was wearing sandals backstage and during the mini challenge)

Jiggly Caliente

to Dida Ritz: "Dida let me start with you boo, there's some lotion in my purse, you need to use it on your elbows and your knees, you look like you've been galloping through flour baby."
to Chad Michaels: "Mama Chad, it's called forever 21 not forever 41!"
to Willam: "Willam, honey, your face is made out of marbles, s*** don't move!"

Phi Phi O'Hara

to Jiggly Caliente: "Oh Jujubee, you know helium is for balloons, not your stomach
to Willam: "Willam, I know you're talented at you know, buying shoes, but you're talented at you know, drag?"
to Sharon Needles: "And uh, Sharon? I love how you rock the Party City!

Sharon Needles: "That's where I got your Lady Gaga wig!"

Willam

to Dida Ritz: "Dida Ritz, I don't know if that's Hot Couture or Hot Cou-torn 'cause there's holes in that shirt!"
to Phi Phi O'Hara: "Phi Phi, you are gorgeous, you catch the camera's eye from the right, but from the left, you snag it!"
to Chad Michaels: "Chad Michaels, you so old, you're still on Myspace.com Chad Michaels!"

Chad Michaels

to Dida Ritz: "Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the RuPaul ball, tonight, in the category of BUTCH QUEEN: DIDA RITZ!"
to Jiggly Caliente: "Jiggly, I love you, come to Mother Dust, come, come to me, come, I won't hurt you... here's my dentist card. Use it"
to Willam: "Willam Belli, Willam Belli loves to live his life and think he's Carrie Bradshaw, but in the sequel she'll be playing Scary Radshaw."

Latrice Royale

to Jiggly Caliente: "Jiggly Caliente, BMW... Body Made Wrong!"
to Phi Phi O'Hara: "Phi Phi O'Hara, although reading is fundamental darling, you want to spell first, you illiterate f***!"
to Willam: "Willam, Miss Industry, congratulations on your new role as the Big Bad Wolf, by the hair on your chiny chin chin!"
to Sharon Needles: "Sharon Needles, two words, "Sideshow Freak!""

Sharon Needles

to Dida Ritz & Willam: "Dida Ritz, a lot of you girls like to clock me for painting my skin on the gray side, but I was inspired by your knees, and they're the same color as Willam's chin!"
to Phi Phi O'Hara: "Phi Phi O'Hara, what brand of makeup do you wear? Sherman Williams?"
to Jiggly Caliente: "Jiggly Caliente, you're such a fat slut, after sex you smoke hams!"

All Stars

In this season, there wasn't a "Reading is Fundamental" mini-challenge as the previous seasons, in change, the girls had to dress up in cheer-leading costumes and "read" the other contestants in a cheer format.

Here are all the quotes and reads from each of the queens on Episode 4, All-Star Girl Groups

Mini Challenge Winner: Team Yarlexis (Alexis Mateo and Yara Sofia)

Team Yarlexis (Alexis Mateo and Yara Sofia)

to Raven: 5, 6, 7, 8! Raven, Raven, honestly, you're so boring, I fall sleep!
to Jujubee: Bing, bing, bing! Bam, bam, bam! Ju you look like Jackie Chan!
to Chad Michaels: Chad, Chad, my little Consuela, you so old, you're like my abuela!
to Shannel:
1. - Alexis Mateo: Knock knock
  - Yara Sofia: Who's There?
  - Alexis Mateo: Shannel!
  - Yara Sofia: Shannel who?
  - Alexis Mateo: Exactly

Alexis Mateo: You've got... served!

Team Rujubee (Raven and Jujubee)

to Alexis Mateo: (Jujubee) Alexis Mateo, your look is really ghetto!
to Yara Sofia: (Raven) Yara Sofia, you give us diarrhea!
to Chad Michaels: (Raven) Chad, you look fierce, cheeks and lips are silicone!
to Shannel: (Jujubee) Uh that Shannel, uh that ass, you don't need no syrofoam!
to Team Shad: Go Team Shad! Go home!

Team Shad (Shannel and Chad Michaels)

Season 5

Here are all the quotes and reads from each of the queens on Episode 7: RuPaul Roast

Mini Challenge Winner: Alaska

Detox

to Roxxxy Andrews: "Roxxxy Andrews, condragulations on the weight loss, but to me, you're still Boxxxy, Mandrews."
to Alyssa Edwards: "Alyssa Edwards, overbites are very in this season. Too bad your performance here is so underwhelming."
to Alaska: "Sharon Needles! What?"

Jinkx Monsoon

to Roxxxy Andrews: "Roxxxy Andrews, there are two types of peanut butter: creamy (points to legs) and crunchy (points to face)."
to Detox: "Detox, you won the challenge, you can take the chicken mask off now."

Roxxxy Andrews

to Coco Montrese : "Coco Montrese, for someone who calls themselves a top, you sure do like being on the bottom."
to Jinkx Monsoon: "Jinkx Monsoon, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, you're great at the challenges, but on the runway, you're a bust!"

Coco Montrese

to Detox : "Detox, is Amanda Lepore your mother? 'Cause there's a lot of silicone going on there."
to Jinkx Monsoon: "Jinkx Monsoon, Boy George called. He wants his hat back."
to Alyssa Edwards: "Alyssa Edwards, never mind."

Alyssa Edwards

to Ivy Winters: "Ivy Winters, I can't do it, because reading you is like reading a Walt Disney book, it's simply too easy."
to Detox: "Detoxic! Honey, I know you're thinking you're serving body and look, but the only thing I'm getting is The Hills Have Eyes."

Ivy Winters

to Coco Montrese: "Miss Coco, you must be blind because it looks like you're using Tang for your highlight."
to Alaska: "Miss Alaska, I think you should wear a mask for every challenge."

Alaska

"I don't wanna read these girls, I love them so much (puts glasses on) alright, let's go!"

to Alyssa Edwards: "Alyssa Edwards, Miss US- oh wait."
to Detox: "Detox, you're so seductive, but unfortunately it's illegal to do it with you because most of your parts are under 18 years of age."

"Long story short, the season of the fish smells like trout."

Season 6

Here are all the quotes and reads from each of the queens on Episode 6: Oh No She Betta Don't.

Mini Challenge winner: Darienne Lake

Bianca Del Rio

to BenDeLaCreme: "Miss BenDeLaCreme, after seeing you in drag, I realize now why Seattle has a high suicide rate."
to Joslyn Fox: "Joslyn Fox, she's so gay, even her asshole has a lisp."
to Adore Delano: "Then we have Adore. I know what you got on your SAT's. Ketchup."

Adore Delano

to Trinity K. Bonet: "Trinity, I believe your smile belongs on Season 4. Every day is shark week with your grill."
to Laganja Estranja: "Miss Laganja Estranja, next time you death drop, reverse that and drop dead."

Trinity K. Bonet

to Darienne Lake: "Darienne Lake, I weigh like 110 and I'm really scared of you, so I'm just gunna keep it at that."
to Trinity K. Bonet: "And I'm sure you all will remind me that my hair is so fine and damaged that I'm forced wear this clip-on ponytail (takes off ponytail). If you can't read yourself, how in the hell can you read somebody else, thank you."

Milk

to Joslyn Fox : "Joslyn Fox, you may not be all that smart, and you may not be all that pretty... I guess that's it."
to Darienne Lake: "MIss Darienne Lake, you should be arrested for animal cruelty. The way you abused those kitten heels on the runway is absolutely criminal!"

Courtney Act

to BenDeLaCreme: "BenDeLaCreme, the cream always rises to the top, but then again, so does the scum."
to Joslyn Fox: "Miss Joslyn Fox, when we need a lower rate version of Courtney Act, we'll let you know."

Joslyn Fox

to Adore Delano: "Adore, you know you're from the west coast because it's a three hour delay before you finally get a joke."
to Darienne Lake: "Darienne Lake, this is the girl who probably sits reverse cowgirl on the toilet just so she has a flat surface to eat off of."

BenDeLaCreme

to Joslyn Fox: "Joslyn, you have some really comforting old fashioned qualities like how you paint in sepia tone and your voice sounds like a dial-up modem."
to Darienne Lake: "Miss Darienne Lake, you have a lot of jokes, but to me, they're more like UFO's. I mean, they are way out there and I've never seen one land."

Laganja Estranja

to Adore Delano: "A-bore De-lameo, is that a hog on your body, or are you excited to see me?"
to Bianca Del Rio: "Bianca Del Taco Trio, your style is as old and bitter as you. You've even got the crypt keeper crying "BOO HOO HOO!""

Darienne Lake

to Milk: "Milk, your beauty and fashion is listed right on the side of your carton under 'Missing.'"
to BenDeLaCreme: "You remind me of a Russian doll, full of yourself."
to Adore Delano: (slowly) "Adore Delano, I'm going to say this very slowly so you can understand. You're dumb."

Season 7

Here are all the quotes and reads from each of the queens on Episode 9: Divine Inspiration

Mini Challenge winner: Trixie Mattel

Ginger Minj

to Trixie Mattel: "Trixie Mattel, making fun of you is like shooting clownfish in a barrel. Unfortunately, that's about as fishy as you'll ever be."
to Miss Fame: "Miss Fame, I think everything about you is so original, except for those lips, those cheeks and everything you present to the judges on the runway."

Katya

to Pearl: "Pearl, now that you come out of your shell, maybe you could use that as a butt pad?"
to Violet Chachki: "Violet Chachki, you keep training those corests girl. Pretty soon your waist size will be lower than your IQ."
to Miss Fame: "Miss Fame, you are such a talented make-up artist. I have never met anybody whose able to shove their head so far up their own ass without smuding their eye liner."

Violet Chachki

to Ginger Minj:"Ginger Minj, I disagree with the judges. I think you should bring your black hairspray down further. Full coverage."
to Katya: "Katya, at this point you really should just make like your hair line and recede."
to Trixie Mattel: "Trixie Mattel, haute couture? More like haute glue."

Miss Fame

to Trixie Mattel: "Is that Ben Affleck? Girl, I must be hungry for the dick if I think this thirsty bitch is her."
to Katya: "Katya, now you get to increase your hooking fee. Thank you, RuPaul's Drag Race."

Kennedy Davenport

to Trixie Mattel: "Miss Trixie. Girl, I am waiting for you to change that lip colour, 'cause your face looks like the back of a babboon's ass"
to Violet Chachki: "Oh look it's a giraffe, no it's a horse. Oh, it's just Miss Violet serving neigh realness."

Trixie Mattel

to Katya: "Katya, where do you get your outfits, girl? American Apperantly Not?"
to Ginger Minj: "Ginger Minj, girl did you ever save Carol Anne from the poltergeist in the TV?"
to Violet Chachki: "Violet, I don't believe the rumours. I don't believe that you took Sharon Needles' crown. I don't believe you're taking this one either."

Pearl

to Kennedy Davenport: "Kennedy Davenport, you've got your eye on the prize and you're other eye on the crown."
to Katya: "Katya, are you confused? The saying is young, dumb and full of cum."
to RuPaul: "RuPaul..."

RuPaul: "Bitch! The library is closed and Pearl, the door is over there!"

Season 8

Here are all the quotes and reads from each of the queens on Episode 6: Wizards of Drag.

Mini Challenge winner: Bob The Drag Queen

Chi Chi DeVayne

to Thorgy Thor: "Thorgy Thor. Girl, I love you so much, I don't know whether to give you a hug, or put some change in a cup."
to Bob The Drag Queen: "Bob The Drag Queen. You may be from New York, but honey, those feet are still from Mississippi."
(web extra) to Robbie Turner: "Robbie 'snaggletooth' Turner, girl you the first person I've ever seen whose teeth had a kickstand."
(web extra) to Naomi Smalls: "Namoi Smalls... Bitch, eat a sandwich."

Kim Chi

to Chi Chi DeVayne: "Chi Chi, your drag is just like turkey neck: Cheap, and no on wants it."
to Naomi Smalls: "Naomi Smalls. Your wardrobe reminds me of a legendary Drag Race queen: Nicole Paige Brooks." RuPaul: "The SHADE! Who knew that was lurking underneath all that—" Naomi: "We all knew." (gesturing to the other queens).
(web extra) to Thorgy Thor: "Thorgy Thor, I would read you but I wouldn't want you to worry about it."
(web extra) to Robbie Turner: "Robbie Turner, Jinkx Monsoon and BenDeLaCreme shined with their Snatch Game Characters, but I guess this is a trilogy I won't finish reading.
(web extra) to Bob The Drag Queen: "Bob The Drag Queen, Michelle Visage said to punch up your highlights. Your makeup makes me want to punch you in the highlights."

Thorgy Thor

to Derrick Barry: "Simple—I mean Derrick—I mean Britney. You know, you are pretty attractive. I'd hit that baby one more time."
to Bob The Drag Queen: "Bob. Please shut up."
(web extra) to Chi Chi DeVayne: "Chi Chi, you know, I fell in love with you. You have this wonderful boyfriend back home, and she was telling us stories about how she has to—he sounds really attractive—you have to remind him to shower, you tell him to clean up after himself, and then you also cook dinner. You just open up a can of beans with those teeth."
(web extra) to Kim Chi: "Uh... Teletubby."
(web extra) to Robbie Turner: "Jinkx Monsoon—I mean Robbie Turner. I thought you were the whitest cracker on Earth, but actually when you got shown-up by the dog, the dog is a little whiter than you."
(web extra) to Naomi Smalls: "Naomi Smalls, I loved you in Bambi. As Bambi. When you came out all thin. But I loved you even more as Jack Skellington in The Nightmare Before Christmas."

Derrick Barry

to Naomi Smalls: "Naomi, no one knows whether to call you 'nigh-o-mi' or 'nay-o-mi,' but judging from your runway looks, no one's gonna be calling you at all."
to Bob The Drag Queen: "Bob The Drag Queen. I had no idea that there are different shades of ashy."
(web extra) to Chi Chi DeVayne: "Chi Chi, the day I met you, you sad you weren't a comedy queen. Yet you were wearing a trash bag. That was very comedic. Still, after six episodes: Your most expensive look."
(web extra) to Thorgy Thor: "Thorgy, I am not surprised you did a killer Michael Jackson tribute in the Snatch Game. I'm still waiting for you to impersonate a female in this competition."
(web extra) to Robbie Turner: "Robbie Turner. 'Let me tell you something for free.' Why don't you borrow some Ru dollars, and go buy a new quote."

Naomi Smalls

to Robbie Turner: "Robbie Turner, we know you're a vintage queen, but do you have to smell like mothballs too?"
to Derrick Barry: "Derrick Barry. You say it takes you an hour to do your face. Why does it look like five minutes?"
(web extra) to Chi Chi DeVayne: "Chi Chi, your drag reminds me of my elementary school project: hot-glued together and cheap."
(web extra) to Thorgy Thor: "Thorgy Thor. You know how the kids are saying 'Brows on fleek?' Yours are on 'hide and seek.'"
(web extra) to Bob The Drag Queen: "...and Bob The Drag Queen. I don't blame you for not being a great makeup artist. There's not many things you can do with coffee grounds and gasoline." RuPaul: "I don't even know what that means..."

Robbie Turner

to Kim Chi: "Kim Chi. You are stomping for the gods on the runway. I just wish your drag would get raptured."
to Naomi Smalls: "Naomi, I'm gonna give you some advice, darling. No one's gonna take you seriously if you were born after 'Windows 95' came out."
(web extra) to Chi Chi DeVayne: "Chi Chi, your drag is amazing. ...considering you look like you got dressed in hurricane forced [sic] winds."
(web extra) to Thorgy Thor: "Thorgy Thor—if that's your Christian name—your hair is reaching for the heavens, but your bangs are praying for release."
(web extra) to Derrick Barry: "Derrick Barry. It is so nice to be as pretty as homemade soap." Derrick: "...what?"
(web extra) to Bob The Drag Queen: "Bob The Drag Queen. Bob, you're like the napalm of drag. Your drag is so good from afar, but far from good."

Bob The Drag Queen

to Derrick Barry: "It is a known fact that Derrick Barry is not very smart. When she heard Britney Spears, she said, 'Does she? I prefer fencing.' It is very hard to have in intelligent conversation with Derrick Barry. The only thing harder is Robbie Turner's wig lines."
to Robbie Turner: "Robbie Turnter [sic]. I know you're a huge fan of classic movies and television. May I recommend one of my favorite classic movies and TV shows: Flipper."
(web extra) to Chi Chi DeVayne: "Chi Chi DeVayne. We all know she's poor and cheap, in fact you ring her doorbell, the toilet flushes. Why is everyone so shocked she can do backflips? Her teeth have been doing somersaults since she got here."
(web extra) to Kim Chi: "Kim Queef. How would I describe your teeth? 'Thuthpicious.'" (suspicious, said with a lisp)
(web extra) to Thorgy Thor: "Thorgy Thor is a cautionary tale of why musicians shouldn't mate. You'll end up with an f-a-g on r-d-r with a-d-h-d with compulsion o-c-d, okaaay?"
(web extra) to Naomi Smalls: "Naomi Shambles. I find it amazing you have eleven brothers and sisters and no one loved you enough to tell you not to wear those shoes on national TV. She's so skinny, she has to run around in the shower just to get wet." Naomi, laughing, "I hate you." Bob: "She's so skinny she can look through the peep hole with both eyes."
(web extra) to himself: "And Bob The Drag Queen is so dark, she sits in a tub of hot water, and makes coffee. Thanks you, the library's closed."

All Stars 2

Here are all the quotes and reads from each of the queens on Episode 1: All Star Talent Show Extravaganza

Mini Challenge winner: Alaska

RuPaul: "In the Great Tradition of Paris is Burning, Reading is what?"

The girls: "Fundamental!"

RuPaul: "Exactly"